Is she dope, yep, ass in full effect,
she walks into the room and all the guys come down with strep,
thinkin they can step, their hands go up with sweat,
but she be down with me since fetts vette (jets jets),
shes a hard drinka, a lollypop licka,
a pistol packing mama got me posed like a thinker,
she gold like the Aztecs or is it the incas
she call the shot and the shot be cunnilingus
she heaven sent on the x-box playing halo
wish that she would clean my pipes like she wa draino,
wish she wasnt hotter than a plate of jalapenos,
i feel like the kid, that wants to eat his play dough,
you shouldnt cuz it should be bad for your health,
take one look at her and you be screamin for help
or call up the police say put me in a cell,
i cant resist this dish im under emilys spell if you couldnt already tell
i love every iota, yoda should have told me she was off to south dakota
one more yacht bird flew the coop I guess old gordy done screwed the pooch

(Chorus)
only thing i love more than herb is the bird but my luck s kinda fucked its a wonder that I flirt but I do and i will cuz im still just a nerd ever been left behind, let me hear ya say word

Shes a go getter dressed in a sweater
we watched black hawk down together
her name s heather, there s no better, didn t want her to go, but I had to let her
remember hot weather, there I first met her, ellen was saying we should so get together, miss going on dates, girls getting dolled up
Outside the yacht club, cant belive she showed up
scholios chick, one fake tit
always bitin her lip, always walkin with a limp
always talkin shit, always beggin to kiss
cuz you can t resist the lips of an MC Chris
we only had a month to hump it was rough
she was the first one that brought over a tooth brush
she missed home, horses in the barn
life was sucking so kentucky was pulling her arm
just one bird that got away
keep up to date by checkin her LJ
on my birthday she bought me chucks
not only does it blow it totally sucks

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Her name was lb, she was an actress
I filled up her spaces like madlibs
way above average she was just a sad kid
so i couldnt help but give the girl my address
she live in texas like to get messed up
like to tease the boys so she always got dressed up
like to get in fights with the truckers at the rest stop
she was top notch and her bod was the best part
fan of mine summertime droppin me a line
sounded kinda cute couldnt help but reply
chillin in her pool squintin at the sky
cell phone rings MC says high
so were talking everyday, flirtin up a storm
plans a road trip i say w3rd is born
and my mind s set on porn, and i think im gonna score
I get down on all fours start scrubbin all the floors
then i get all nervous that an accident is imminent,
never have a chance to relax and get intimate
arrives at my drive, I sigh, get all shy
so we all get all high walk down little 5
do a shot buy some pot, take a seat on the street
shes cute and shes nice and shes hot and shes sweet
and she makes the first move cuz i'm set on defeat
then I tongue lap her flaps till she snaps and she screams
and she just leaves, and im kinda relieved no ODs VDs hearts on my sleeve
not a stalker just a talker ass tight as a weave once a newbie now a groupie double clicking on me - what?

(Chorus)